Wrecked: Revenge Revisited
Originally published on 8th April 2012 on Ready Up.
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Several generations ago, Micro Machines was undoubtedly the big daddy of multiplayer gaming. The racing mechanic was unique, requiring you to outrun your opponents in toy vehicles to gain enough ground on them to destroy them and earn yourself a point. A refreshing change from the usual first-past-the-post approach. Micro Machines V3 was launched early in the PSOne’s lifespan, but quickly become one of the finest titles to grace the console. Introducing 3D graphics, its top selling point was the inclusion of weapons, further adding to the vehicular carnage.
It’s a real shame, then, that the series’ greatness diminished over the following years.
But then Mashed came in.
Sonnet The Hedgehog – The Nuclear Wasteland
Originally published on Ready Up on 4th April 2012.
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I venture alone in the vast devastation,
the remnants of what was once a great nation.
A prosperous land that has since been left hollow
where the wretched remains of the past now wallow.
It’s warm midday as the harsh sun beats down,
charring the skin on my uncovered crown.
Inside of my armour, all dusty and brown,
the sweat starts to pool and I feel I could drown.
Amidst this discomfort, I remain calm,
even as my gun starts to slip from my palm.
These are conditions to which you never acclimatise
from the day of your birth to that of your demise.
Top of the Flops
Originally published on Ready Up on 27th February 2012.
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The stench of sweat in the dark and musty room is overpowering, pervading my nostrils with every breath I take. It’s difficult to tell what time it was: we’ve been doing this for so long in the dingy, windowless club that time’s seemed to stop and congeal into an unrecognisable, indecipherable blob.
Opposite me at the table, my opponents stare at me, anticipating my next move. They’re a weird bunch of ‘people’, to say the least. On my left is a smiling rabbit who spouts surrealities like an ornery tomtom in heat, punctuating the fact that he seems to have no idea what he’s actually doing.
Beside him is a strange little man adorned in Luchadore garb and boxing gloves, which he insists are his actual hands. If that’s the case, then how the hell does he manage to so adeptly manipulate the cards he’s been given?
A Stocking Full of Coal
Originally published on Ready Up on 1st February 2012.
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Christmas time is always a joyous time for PC gamers. During the festive season, the good people at Valve go bonkers and drastically reduce the price of selected games as part of the Christmas Sale.
And don’t go thinking that it’s only mediocre games getting a price slash. Last year, quality titles including, but not limited to, Skyrim, Dead Island, Assassin’s Creed: Revelations, Portal 2 and Batman: Arkham City all had their entry fees cut by up to an astonishing 75%. As a result, gamers could play the best games of the year at a fraction of the cost of their console counterparts.
Because of my increasing passion for the PC gaming scene, I also partook in bagging myself a few bargains. But I wasn’t interested in any of these new games: I already had them and have completed them (at least I think I’ve finished Skyrim – it’s hard to tell). No, for me it was the older games on offer that appealed to me.
Dizzy: Prince of the Yolk Folk Good(egg)ies
Originally published on Ready Up on 11th January 2012.
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Eggs are awesome, aren’t they? You can make so much with them: omelettes, cakes, pancakes, a big mess on the kitchen floor after a particularly nasty entanglement with a beloved family pet. In fact, there are only three ways to improve such an already awesome foodstuff: stick some shoes, some gloves and a big smiley face on the shell.
And that’s exactly where Dizzy comes in. After an 11 year hiatus, everyone’s favourite albumen casing is back in the remake of his greatest adventure, Prince of the Yolk Folk. It’s once again up to the oospore to do what he does best, jumping and tumbling through locations including the leafy boroughs of Keldor and even to hell itself.
The 12 Games of Christmas
Originally published on Ready Up on 31st December 2011.
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On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me;
free DLC for Battlefield 3.
On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me;
two psycho loons;
and free DLC for Battlefield 3.
On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me;
three red lights;
two psycho loons;
and free DLC for Battlefield 3.
Saints Row: The Third
Originally published on Ready Up on 14th December 2011.
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Open world sandbox games have been hugely popular since their inception and have diverged down two paths over the genre’s evolution. On one hand, you have your serious titles, focusing on gritty stories following tortured characters with dark and mysterious pasts taking on drug deals, shootouts and heists in order to survive. Think games like Grand Theft Auto, Prototype andInfamous.
On the other, you have games which take the piss out of themselves to a stupid degree. Ones where you partake in a number of ridiculous activities, visit hilariously-themed shops and generally have a good time just dicking about. The Saints Row series most definitely fits into the latter category: the first introduced us to the idea that sandbox games needn’t be serious to be fun and the second beefed up this idea with the inclusion of a story lined with hilarious moments, several audacious side missions – such as spraying as much shite from a refuse disposal vehicle as possible over passing pedestrians and buildings – and two player co-op so you could enjoy all the nonsense with a pal.
Read the rest of this blog on Ready Up.
Prophets of Continuity
Originally published on Ready Up on 26th November 2011.
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Continuity is a fantastic thing.
Defined as ‘the unbroken and consistent existence or operation of something over a period of time’, in fiction this relates to events that have already happened in a story arc being remembered and playing their part in the current tale. Some series do fine without bothering with it: the Final Fantasy games always contain different stories set in vastly disparate worlds and Glee contains a whole host of continuity problems and errors (or so I’ve read from its Wiki, anyway – I personally avoid the programme like the plague).
For the most part, missing continuity doesn’t really matter, but for me, it’s what makes a good story a great one. It shows that the story’s creators have an obvious love for what they’re writing and a passion for what they’re doing. It’s why I love Star Trek with its different incarnations all overlapping with one another and why I adore Doctor Who, its references to episodes that have been produced over its fifty year history being a delight to look out for. It always makes me smile when I catch a reference to something that has gone before.
Halo: Combat Evolved Anniversary
Originally published on Ready Up on 15th November 2011.
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It’s hard to believe it’s already been ten years since Halo: Combat Evolved was released for the original Xbox. Nowadays it’s one of the most recognisable franchises in gaming, expanding into books, comics, animation and even Lego, but it wasn’t always plain sailing for the Master Chief. Back when Halo was released, the Xbox was on shaky ground and its future as one of the main operators in the videogame market was far from certain. It was Halo that became the format’s killer app, redefining the console shooter and making an icon of Spartan John-117 in the process. As such, its importance can never be overestimated.
So it seems fitting that 343 Industries, the development team splintered from Bungie when it was snapped up by Activision, has returned to where it all began for its first solo release. But is this remastered version worthy of celebrating Halo’s tenth anniversary, or just a shameless attempt at raking in cash from the Halo faithful?
Battlefield 3
Originally published on Ready Up on 12th November 2011.
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Last month, Dunk and I got our eager mitts on Battlefield 3 for the first time. You’ve read our initial thoughts: now’s the time for our verdict.
Battlefield 3’s story mode starts off promisingly enough. Through some excellently rendered cutscenes, you’re introduced to Sergeant Blackburn, a soldier being interrogated by the CIA regarding his claim that the city of New York is in grave danger. The action is fitted around these scenes, flashing back to important events in the story from the point of view of several characters, including Blackburn himself.
The first mission sees you fighting the Peoples’ Liberation and Resistance, an Iranian insurgent group bent on pushing American forces out of the country. What follows is your standard storyline of making your way into the city with your squad and defending it to the end. It’s good enough…
And then a building falls on you.
